He does not have relations with her anymore. It only lasted a couple months. I am very angry with her. I have her phone number and I am on the verge finding her name. I know my anger should be directed toward my husband but he is probably getting a divorce and will pay for the rest of his life. I am a good, loving, hardworking, dedicated person. He is going to lose me and that will be his punishment.
It is very sad. We have been married for 10 years and have a 7 year old daughter. I want her to pay. I want to bring a picture of our family to her work and let everyone know what a low-life scumbucket she it. I do not want to get in trouble for harassment but I am willing to push limits. What would you do? I was not aware of this or even the affair at the time. He told her to stay away from our family.
They bantered back and forth. She closed her facebook page after that. I want to be sure she never does this to another family. Then do it. So forget about that. And ask yourself, why did my husband do this? You know it takes two to tango, right…? They made a baby from this affair. I have been in touch with this woman. I want to meet her so she can hear and understand my pain. I am not a Christian, so to see and hear two people who believe in God justifying their actions because they were unhappy in their marriages makes me angry.
Am I right in wanting to meet this woman? I have tried to tell this story fairly, not just complain about my husband. But I am devastated. You, on the other hand, have every reason to feel consumed by a web of emotions, of which jealousy is just one part. I feel great compassion for your anguish over what you feel could be the end of your marriage. I admire the honesty that invokes your loveless childhood, linking it with the present. You craved love from your mother but she not only withheld it, she abandoned you.
Your father was undemonstrative and — despite being a different kind of mum — you seem to have inherited that characteristic in your marriage. But given your background, no wonder you retreated into your shell.
Perhaps you and your husband were essentially incompatible all along — just as his family thought. Whatever the truth, we must address the current situation. He has lied — even misleading you about the reasons for consulting Relate.
You wanted to mend things, but he had separation in mind all along. Or so he says. It certainly sounds as if communication between you is pretty poor. Of course, I agree with you that marriage requires hard work. Listen — the fact your husband and his lover are practising Christians has no relevance whatsoever to their affair.
If I sound cynical, forgive me. Through my personal and professional life, I know all about such deceptions and, therefore, nothing surprises me any more.
The desire to berate is always very strong, but rarely does any good — and I fear it would just upset you even more. There is nothing more important. No, not even your abandoned heart. You must tell your husband that more Relate sessions are essential. They will help him realise what leaving the marriage will mean thinking of those children again and lead you to evolve a way forward which does not involve bitterness.
How can I? My problem is making me ill and has the potential to break up my relationship with the woman I love — the mother of my gorgeous son. Everything else we have is perfect: a nice house, no money worries, supportive family and friends. We are comfortable together, soul mates and best friends for more than five years. But I have an overwhelming and destructive obsession with her previous partner.
I feel like second best, second choice and forever in his shadow. She speaks very positively about this man, who was there for her during a difficult time.
He is also more than 20 years older than my partner and wealthy. The thought of them together turns my stomach. He has a busy clinical practice in Toronto, Canada and throughout the world using the phone or Zoom. After many years of clinical practice and research, Abe concluded that practical solutions requiring a focused effort of no more than a few minutes a day for very specific relationship problems were critically needed. GoSmartLife Publishing House has been created to fill this need.
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Find out! In my professional work with couples surviving infidelity, I am often asked by the primary victim — the partner who was cheated on — about 'confronting' the outside lover. They are looking for advice on how to stop an affair and wonder if being aggressive with the outside intruder is a good idea or not.
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